As I embarked on my journey into adulthood (and motherhood), I carried with me a belief that the intensity of my emotions and the way I felt about things were signs of weakness. Growing up with a mother who selflessly gave to others without expecting anything in return, I witnessed first-hand the power of kindness and empathy. Yet, I also observed how some misunderstood her approach, considering it a display of meekness and fragility. As a result, I began to question whether my emotions would make me weak and if I needed to toughen up to fit societal expectations.
Throughout my life, my mother’s nurturing and empathetic nature has had (and continues to have) a profound impact on me. She taught me the importance of compassion and caring for others. As much as I embraced this however, as I faced my own challenges and setbacks, I couldn’t help but hide my emotional sensitivity believing that it would hinder my ability to be strong and resilient in the face of adversity. I believed that to be a successful woman in both my personal and professional life, I needed to suppress my emotions, and my vulnerability and display an unwavering strength at all times. Needless to say that I was wrong and this approach to life came at a huge cost to my well-being.
Reframing Vulnerability as Strength:
Recent life events have prompted me to re-examine the intensity of my emotions and delve into the concept of vulnerability. I have been asking myself, “Is feeling intensely a bad thing?” Amidst my search for answers, I was however confronted with deeper questions: Why does it matter so much to find these answers? Was I approaching this from a place of fear, shame or validation-seeking? Progress in my thinking came only when I justified it as a journey to understand myself better.
The more I’ve looked, the more I’ve found that feeling intensely is not a weakness after all but rather a strength. Though feeling intensely opens us up to vulnerability, the vulnerability arising from intense emotions is an essential aspect of the human experience. It takes courage to be vulnerable, to openly express emotions, and to seek support when needed. This vulnerability fosters genuine connections and personal growth, enabling us to truly understand and support each other.
The significance of vulnerability has also been found in effective leadership. Contrary to traditional beliefs that portray women as emotionally sensitive and, as such, weaker leaders, there is evidence that leaders who embrace vulnerability become more relatable and inspiring. Their openness fosters trust, encourages authenticity within their teams, and leads to increased creativity and productivity.
This understanding extends to my role as a mother where I have realized that being vulnerable with my children does not make me flawed or stoic; instead, it creates an environment of emotional intelligence and understanding. By demonstrating vulnerability, I teach my children that it is okay to express their feelings, fostering a healthy emotional connection.
In conclusion, I have learned that being a strong and resilient woman doesn’t mean hiding my emotions but rather embracing them as a source of strength. By acknowledging our own emotional landscape, we gain insight into the struggles and triumphs of others, enabling us to lead with compassion and sensitivity. Living wholly emerges from this harmonious dance of intense feelings, vulnerability, and empathetic leadership. When we live wholly, we embrace our imperfections and recognize that authenticity is the key to genuine fulfilment. This comprehensive way of living enables us to align our personal and professional selves, allowing us to thrive in both spheres.
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